The pulley system

So when I was first introduced to my splendidly furnished apartment three weeks ago, I was also introduced to my future lifestyle. I only realize this now because well, real is what's finally sinking in, via the people, the language, the food.  My apartment is now my refuge from all that is so strange and blaring.  I haven't really decorated, so it's very cool and 'minimalist'... yes, right, on purpose- not to mention that decor is the only thing Koreans spend major won on.   Anyways, my apartment is very Korean outside the decor.  It is a one bedroom/kitchen living space with private bathroom.  I have heat and air-conditioning, a washer, a dry-rack, a heated floor. I even have a hot/cold water dispenser- I'm going to call it the Korean Culligan. It's amazing and by far my favorite part of my apartment! I have a huge TV, which I'll be able to use when I first get reimbursed for my plane ticket, and a nice desk and computer chair, sofa, small dining table and two chairs, a microwave, special shoe bureau, bed and huge closet/drawers. It's bloody amazing! I've been treated like a queen! And because I have always had a vivid imagination (comes from excessive alone time... i.e. no siblings and a rural location) I can envision my own royal surroundings... complete with chandelier and plush rug, gold filigree and bejeweled mirrors.  It's my own little corner of the world, and it's heaven.   Well, maybe not actually heaven-heaven. Heaven on earth has a real shower, one with a separate area specifically for showering, not a shower head attached to the wall and all of five by six feet to maneuver around the stool, the sink, the shampoo, conditioner and bar of soap, all the while attempting to control the shower head, keep balance on the soap covered floor and not freeze your ass off.  As you can see, it's a very big deal to take a shower.  I prepare for it by taking everything out of the bathroom that I don't want wet, turning on the water heater, and- make a short will, just in case I don't make it through the battle. Thus far I have triumphed! Hooray! Though I am still wary, and for the record: "I love you Mom and Dad, I'm sorry if my end is at the hands of a soaped up mess of me, a toilet, a sink and an odd shower cord twisted around and through everything. I really did use caution!"   

Speaking of ends, "I'm also sorry if my end is at the hands of the damn pulley they've so kindly bestowed upon me for all lifesaving purposes." That is, either my school bought me an actual pulley and rope to fasten to the hook by my window, or it is mandatory for the landowner to buy one for me, as it will most definitely save me from being burned alive. Yes, instead I look at this archaic lever and picture myself trying to belet down seven stories while my building goes up in flames. The smoke engulfing all of my senses as I dangle over the flames and feel myself slowly roast. Yes, I look at this kind token and give a little shutter and hope I never have to try to use it. For if I do use it, I'm sure it will be my end. Either a roasted human entree hanging from a mess of screwed up pulleys and ropes, or a roasted human entree hanging from a neatly made noose, the later obviously with all hope lost and a jab at saving me from being burned alive. Point is that either way I'm screwed, and I'm actually thankful that I was given an option. I could just be toast and that be the end of it.  It's not, and that's pretty sweet.

Other than a life threatening bathroom and shoddy fire escape, my apartment is exquisite. So I'm really not complaining. It's just funny to me. These things are their way of life, even if they're backward as hell. Of course, I'm sure there are many things that I'm used to that are backward for them. Such as hand sanitizer, toilet paper in every bathroom stall, bath tubs and  exterior metal-stair fire escapes. These things would blow the minds of Koreans, so I'm going to keep them a secret for now. But maybe someday they'll be ready for living innovations. When that day comes I'm going to scream "YAY FOR T-P!" and "Thank God- I'll live through a fire!" I'll even go streaking like Will Ferrel in 'Old School'. THAT's how happy I'll be, and THAT's how unlikely that day will ever come. Very sad. So until then, I'll keep my clothes on and endure the "flame-resistant" pulley system.