The old man and Mary

Last Saturday my friends and I had a "going away" get-together for our dear Korean comrade, Chris. He is a Korean-American, his parents immigrants to Florida, but his grandmother and extended family still living in Seoul. Not sure if it's his mix of cultures, but he is one the goofier Koreans I've met. It was sad to see him depart, but I suppose that's what we're doing here, coming and going.

Every fall and spring there are waves of us foreigners entering Korea. Some in search of adventure, others in search of culture, some in need of change and still the few in search of love. Whatever the reason, they come in hoards.

Ironically, and however much they try to break the barrier, most foreigners tend to stick together; a non-military band of brothers so to say. Thus, their reasons for pursuing a life abroad can be quickly forgotten once loneliness has set in and their need for familiarity overcomes them.

Don't misunderstand me, I think it is purdanent for foreigners to group together. It's a basic human need. And that's what my group of friends has offered me. I am thankful for them, just as I think they are thankful for me. The one problem, however far off, is that of the 'going'. We all come, we bond, but then just as soon as we get comfortable we need to leave. Writing this I feel reminded of Mary Poppins and the crazy man who laughs and laughs so much that he is stuck floating in the rafters. The more the better and eventually they have a tea party of laughter and good times. Yet, just as soon as the party has started it's ended. People have to go home.

That is the reminder my friend Chris has given me. It's not as depressing as I've just made it sound. It's just a fact. A fact I've come to realize and will need to over and over again throughout this next year. Of course, in a way it makes me sad to think about departures, but in another way it makes me cherish their current presence ever more.

I am very happy to have met Chris, but he has said he'll come back in January. The other crew members have all signed up for another year, as have I. So I'm obviously jumping the gun with this blog. I guess I just wanted to write this as a reminder for myself in these next months. I'm quite excited to go home, but with these friends here, there is a life here for me, some roots for me.

The other day I was staring at the map in my classroom, trying to envision the space that divided me from home. Six months ago that gap felt as far as it is, six thousand and some miles of earth, water and sea. Now it's something different, something smaller. I felt the hold of the earth on my feet for the first time in Korea. I felt the roots of the life I'm making here, and admittedly it scared me. I did not expect myself to find such exceedingly amazing people a half a world away. They have become my roots here, and they are growing stronger, larger. I'm afraid for them to break off in the next year, but know just as with people I've met back home, that the breaks are never permanent. In fact, I don't think I could call them breaks at all. They are more like stretching limbs. It may hurt at first, but eventually the pain dulls to a soft yearning to be closer. It's not forever, so you endure it, you suffer in hope with a consolation of love. And I think that's the point of meeting new and amazing people. It's a race of endurance, a test of will. Either open yourself to the possibility of loving them and someday being without them, or never give yourself the chance to feel love nor its eventual absence.

As a great writer (I forget who) said: It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

This brings me back to my Mary Poppins example. If you can not tell, I loved the movie and even as a child read too much into it. I saw Mary as a prude and a show-off. I didn't like that she thought she was perfect, nor did I like that she seemed throw fits when things didn't go her way. In a way she reminded me more of a child than the old man laughing on the ceiling. Mary seemed to meet people then use them or teach them, but never learn from them herself. She seemed closed.

Through the old man I saw joy and laughter that can only be felt when still young and ignorant or when old and wise. He was near buddhist in the way he looked at the world. Everything is one and one is everything. He was happy when he felt happy, and was sad when he felt sad. There was no focus on perfection of appearance or formalities between people. He let the world touch his heart and thereby feel its repercussions, whatever they might be.

I'd like to think I've learned to be a bit of both. Mary can help protect me from the crazies, and the old man can help me to embrace the new and live in the now. Funnily, I can look at the departures of friends with the same lukewarm disposition Mary and the old man create when together. I'm sad, but accepting. Whatever happens, happens. I will always love my life here, and the people. Just the same as I regard home and my good 'ole' friends, I will miss them, remember them, long for them and hope to return to their presence with the consolation of love.

A Korean Halloween?

Today I was given the chance to introduce one of my favorite holidays, that being Halloween naturally! I have always loved the holiday and have always, always, always dressed-up for it! So, my chance to actually introduce it to eager, open ears was all too exciting! (For a weirdo like me, at least.) Oh, and to make it all the better, the class was third grade! They are ridiculously adorable, and hold way too much power over me... Such as I'd give them my kidney if they asked me. Their tiny Korean eyes all glistening with anticipation, their miniature fingers clinging on to their chair backs as they turn to eye me, they kick their legs as they try to listen to Jenna Teacher explain the great American life. I'm such a sucker, and wasted so much time answering their questions. But hey- you'd have to be heartless to refuse!

I began by asking them if they knew what big holiday was in the month of October. I whispered "Halloween" with cupped hands, and a few of the better students perked up and shouted a high pitched, "HALLOWEEN!". "AH!!" the rest went. Many had heard of it, but only a couple knew what the whole shebang was about. So, I mentioned trick or treat, and mimed how kids knock on doors then ask for candy. (They know "candy".... go figure!) To my surprise, they had heard of 'trick-or-treat', which I thought was quite a long phrase for their eight year old brains. Yet, they chirped that too as I hopped around asking for candy.

Then, oh then, I got to discuss Halloween dress-up! Yay! My favorite part! They liked it too as I explained what 'dress-up' meant. "Costume!" "Yes, yes, costume! Very good!" (That girl had gone to English summer camp, where we had had a lesson on international holidays. And she's just so amazing that she remembered!) "Can you name any popular Halloween costumes?" Hm... I begin to make Oooooooo.... sounds and wave my hands in the air like a crazy spook. They begin to catch on and scream the Korean for ghost. I have no clue what they're saying, but my co steps in and graciously translates for me! Lol, yep, not for the kids, for me! I then say "yes! That's right! A ghost!" Then I begin to cackle from deep within my lungs, and take on the look of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction... eyes bugged, huge evil smile and hunched heaving shoulders. The students all scream the Korean for witch, and again my co translates. We go on and on like this for five minutes. We mastered Frankenstein, in which I channeled the oaf's slow, rigidly grotesque walk, then vampire as I pretended to bite a student, then mummy and zombie and monster. We filled the blackboard with Halloween characters... and filled my thoughts with ideas for the big event... muah hahahahahahaha!

In two weeks time the final day will come when all will heed to my, Jenna Teacher's will. My students must, I repeat, must follow my every instruction and do as I command! They must first make masks to cover those hideous human faces. Then, they must traverse the horrifying maze of a classroom to compete in a life or death bean bag show down. Whoever has the most points gets to chose the sacrifice! After that we have another competition, only it is more bloody! More gory! Each group must prepare their butt-wiping paper and wrap it around the sacrifice. If it is not adequate mummy wrapping, they lose! GAME OVER. Muahhahaha. Finally, for those who are still living, a worm and dirt filled sunday must be consumed. If not, swift and inglorious death! These are the words and vows of the great Jenna Teacher. Ye be prepared for her will! Muahahahahaha!

And... then we watch Goosebumps and rejoice in Jenna teacher's ominous power to be completely ridiculous. I can hardly wait! Once I have pictures from the party, I'll gladly post them... so that you can see the terrifying display as well. ^^ I should say, the party is not for another two weeks, yet I'm too elated to hold it in! I've been decorating the classroom all week. (And I have to say, it is looking pretty sweet and creepy!) So, until the final, apocalyptic day... happy tricking.... muahahahahaha I love Halloween :D

The Box

If there is one thing I can pass on to others about Korea, it is most definitely the idea of "The Box", a concept not made of paper nor plastic, nor is it technically intangible either. I cannot even claim its existence outside my own rendering of it. But, to me, it is my imagined Korea. And in that, I claim its intangible tangibility. The Box could be made out of the box like peninsula that literally IS Korea. Or, The Box could be made out of its square, writing system that no doubt resembles an obsession with structure in every aspect of life. I think the box is those things, but I also think it is more. I think The Box is their mind set, their episteme. It is the way they view the world and their lives in it. From fashion, to technology, to work and even play, they are consumed by the idea of The Box. Let me explain...

If it ain't in a box, don't touch it.

The Korean world of The Box:

It seems that Koreans are in a growth spurt. They were propelled into the twenty-first century globalizing world with only a thirty year history as a first world country. Thus, they HAVE everything of a first-world country and then some. But, the problem for them now is their culture. Unlike European countries, or America, Korea cannot assume other cultures in the blink of an eye. It is desperately still trying to hold on to its past in the face of globalization. It is finding it difficult to do so, and therefore is in a conundrum at present. Do they A) hold to their history as the 'hermit kingdom' and push out foreign competition? OR do they B) accept globalization and assimilate into the world vision, a cluster-fuck of world cultures, each single culture self-important but seen as nothing different by its peers. (Hence, lost among the many, unless a competitor in the rat race.) Korea has to choose between the two, but is prolonging their decision, and has been for the past thirty years. They attempt to join in the world economy and politics, but find themselves belittled all too quickly. They then shy away and tuck back into themselves. However, on other economic fronts they are completely merged; such as foreign franchises in Korea like McDonalds, Starbucks, Outback Steakhouse, Paris Baguette, Baskin Robbins, Books Libro, Holly's Coffee and etc., or Korean franchises outside Korea such as the Lotte conglomerate, the largest in Korea with exports to all Asian countries and the added USA, of course.

There is naturally a place for Korea in the world market, but the problem is the effects of that market on Korea. In other words, Korea has already chosen a side in the conundrum, and is now dealing with those effects. The younger generation is embracing gladly embracing the influx of fashion and technology, the excessive spending and focus on individualism, the everything that is America. Many who cling to this lifestyle move out of Korea or find their small niche in Seoul somewhere. Opposite the embracers are the old-schoolers, the creators of The Box, i.e. their view of how life as a Korean should be.

The old-schoolers see Korea as a dying culture if it embraces too much globalization. They are correct in this theory, Korean culture will die if they do not find a way to preserve it. But they not only preserve it, but live it, push for it, cling to it with their tiny Korean hands. They love their culture, which is great. They should be proud of it, it is extremely unique in its box-like qualities, and so is very intriguing to free-spirits like myself. I'm fascinated by the way the old-schoolers take an hour to prepare for a ten minute meeting (because they had to make sure it was structured perfectly... in the box). Or the way they all dress the same, from the same stores, in the same way, all in an attempt to 'fit in' with everybody else, yet still thinking all the while that they're really buying the clothes to be personally beautiful, and therefore 'stick out' among the rest. They don't. Even the most beautiful Korean women can blend into a crowd of short ballerina skirts and tucked-in T's, long hair with cropped bangs and high heels. If not dolled up like that, they are dressed like boys, in plaid button-ups, jeans and Chucks; sometimes a baseball cap is added as an accessory or to cover a bad hair day (not that they have those with their beautiful straight black locks). When in the boy style, I mistake them for just that, boys. Thus, their individuality here is not really individuality. Its more like a self-image in the round. They take on fashion as it comes as a group, and God help the lame ass who does not follow the flock.

I should say that this same group of old-schoolers accept the new, obviously. They look to fashion and technology for assistance just as the youngin's do. But, the overarching difference is their purpose. This group does not branch out farther than what is in front of them, nor from what has been told them since they were young; and that is to be Korean. When all is said and done, this group will still take an hour to plan a ten minute meeting. They will still not allow you into the theater for a minute to claim the jacket you left in the seats- though it will take them fifteen minutes to find someone to take over their ticket post, then another ten to find the jacket itself in the myriad of seat cushions. They do not understand anything outside The Box that is bureaucracy, that is culture, that is Korea.

Another of my friends calls The Box, Korean Logic. I concur, it is their logic that is skewed. They think that things must be done in a certain way for them to be adequately done. But their logic is their culture, its their history. They've been taught to think like this from birth. Always worrying about what others are thinking, and therefore afraid to step outside the box is not just their logic, it is their culture. They find themselves in a spinning cycle of fear, suppression, and depression, because they are always worried about their place in society and society's view of them. And thus, it is my theory that their box is the cause of their excessive suicide rate. They don't make it into the right college: kill thyself. They don't get the right job: kill thyself. They "lose face": kill thyself. Once the poor pussy boys finally have to join the army in their twenties, they cannot deal with The Box shrinkage, thus: kill thyself. (So many suicides in the Korean Army, makes me glad to not be a Korean male.)

It IS sad that their are so many Korean suicides, and I do not mean to make light of it. Yet, as a foreigner, I cannot help but be in awe at the way they view life, and how easy it is for them to want to kill themselves. I think I've ran in the opposite direction ever since I got here, making me freer than oxygen, and forcedly happy to be alive. To see people living in mental and social constraints like those that are in Korea, makes it a obligation for me or any foreigner to be happy just for the sake of being happy, because we can. We do not have to follow the culture, society or The Box. We can break barriers because we are expected to. In that I'm ever grateful to Korea for the eye-opening experience it has given me. It's people have been all too kind to me, and its structure all too sharing (in that it's given me a job, apartment and life to be happy in.) In all I have a great debt to the Korean Box. I have never been happier to know there is a definite box to break out of? Perhaps I am just a spunky anarchist at heart, but I think that may just be Korea's effect on the open-minded individual. Either your follow or you don't.

And as for my statement above: "If it ain't in the box, don't touch it." I think it explains itself, but in a simple segue to Korean culture: if it is not Korean and if it doesn't fit into Korean culture, then it has no place anywhere near it. I'm just lucky to 'fit in' it now. Yet, once all of Korea knows English, I'll be out and Korea will rule the world. Er... ahem, Korea will be a globalized power.

Okay- hope this was an adequate description of The Box. I find it extremely interesting, but still have yet to really pin-point it. What matters is that I know it exists, and in that I'll be happy... just to push it of course. Maybe in another year I'll have a better grasp!

Yours,

Weary Traveller